Love Hard Until the End

Loss of a pet is devastating. It’s more than a pet for most of us; these furry or scaly or winged or 6-or-more legged creatures are our best friends and family members. They often understand us better and form a stronger bond with us than other humans. They don’t judge but only trust and love us unconditionally. They are the most loyal being if we treat them right, and sometimes even if we didn’t.

When I got Kentarou, a Syrian hamster, in November 2011. My life was going downhill. I did not know where on this planet I would end up or if I could remain on Earth because it was just so tough and almost unbearable. Buying him at a pet store to console myself when I was so unstable and unsure about life was the most selfish act. But it was the best thing I did.

For the next 2 years and 2 months, things were just getting worse. As someone who prefers being alone and coping on her own, I isolated myself from the world more often. But Kentarou was right by me and greeted me every single day and night. He was the only light I saw in the darkness I went through.

Hamster’s lifespan is about 2 years. They must grow up in 1 year and got another year so left to live. They do not have time to waste. I did my best to give Kentarou the best possible life and loved him hard. He responded to my love and care positively and lived a long and healthy life with no illness or injury.

He made sure to stay by me until my birthday was over, and the next day, decided that it was time to leave. We enjoyed a short play time the night before and said good night. He then fell into an eternal sleep.

When you love someone or something so much, there is no room for a regret. Losing love is hard, but knowing that your best efforts of loving it would not have changed the outcome is comforting. Only things I feel now are love and gratitude for him and a strong feeling of missing his softness and warmth.

Kentarou, I loved you so much. You were perfect. Thank you for coming into my life when I needed love most.

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