Today I did a thing. I put in my 30-day notice to vacate my apartment. It was my home for 13 and half years. Including the 10 years that I lived in Virginia, I have lived 24 years in the East Coast of United States. Of 23 years, I lived by myself. That’s a long time. I studied and worked so hard to become independent in all aspects, which I have assomplished. I wanted to settle here. In some way I did, but not quite. There have been always the internal conflicts about the family I left behind in my country.
Quitting my job
Once I have decided to move to the West Coast, I started planning. I wanted a change not just in my physical environment but also in all that have defined me including career. I quit the job of 15 years which was a huge part of my life, my social persona, and also my alpha personality that kept me independent and single and in a survival mode. Don’t get me wrong; I loved the job. The pay was good, too and I lived comfortably. But that made it difficult for me to make a change in routines. Nothing new would happen because I didn’t try different things. No space in my mind for a new idea to hatch, and no space in my life for a new opportunity to come in. I went on with the same life for a little too long. So I picked the date of resignation and put in my 2-weeks notice. I didn’t tell anyone but my manager and direct supervisor about my plan but just badged out and left the job for good. Since then I detached myself from those who knew me as the person who I was for the past 15 years.
I needed to shed the old me in order to undefine me and find other potentials in me.
Leaving my old home
For the following few months, I struggled in the process of “change”. It was far more than just a job change and relocation. It took me a good 3 months to completely undone my thought process that had been wired in my old way. I have chosen to move to the West to be closer to my family in Japan, but I was not fully ready to give up my life style. I really loved this city and the city life. Although the selection of new job and home location has been made, the details that I wanted in the picure were heavily influened by my current routines. I declined some offers and pushed back my plans even more. The preparation of the move was slow. Thankfully, I got enought money to keep paying the rent for my current apartment in such a wasteful matter. I just kept dragging and delaying my relocation withought understanding why.
Not until this week did I come to realize – that what I was not ready to fully let go was my HOME.
Tarot reading
After months of delay, I finally wrote a notice to vacate for the second time. The first one was never submitted because I wasn’t sure about it. Once you missed the first day of the month, you can’t move out without agreeing to pay for another month. So I was chilling for 25 days of April without making much effort to hurry up in the plans.
This time, I was VERY sure I wanted to move out because the rend is increasing on June 1 by more than $100 due to the rent control.
On April 29, I came across this yes/no tarot reading on sale on Etsy. It was just $2 per question. Nothing serious but entertaiment only. Why not? So I asked if I could move out by 5/31. I was by no means familiar with tarot decks and their meanings.
The result came on the next day: Eight of Cups
The reader said the answer to my question was indeed “Yes”. Accoding to her, the Eight of Cups (a man leaving the land and his cups behind) suggests “leaving the old place, detaching ourselves from the old connections, and setting our for a new place to start a new life”. I thought it was way too relevant to my situation to be true, so I looked it up online. The more I read the interpretations of Eight of Cups, the more I was assured. The card also signifies transformation and growth after leaving what used to define us. I was very surprised that she drew that card out of 77 others in the deck for my question, and it was indeed the card I was meant to see.
So I submitted my 30-day notice today on May1. I’ve got 30 days to get it all done and right.